

	In/in tradition/nn and/cc in/in poetry/nn ,/, the/at marriage/nn bed/nn is/bez a/at place/nn of/in unity/nn and/cc harmony/nn ./.
The/at partners/nns each/dt bring/vb to/in it/ppo unselfish/jj love/nn ,/, and/cc each/dt takes/vbz away/rb an/at equal/jj share/nn of/in pleasure/nn and/cc joy/nn ./.


	At/in its/pp$ most/ql ecstatic/jj moments/nns ,/, husband/nn and/cc wife/nn are/ber elevated/vbn far/ql above/in worldly/jj cares/nns ./.
Everything/pn else/rb is/bez closed/vbn away/rb ./.


	This/dt is/bez the/at ideal/jj ./.
But/cc marriage/nn experts/nns say/vb that/cs such/jj mutual/jj contribution/nn and/cc mutual/jj joy/nn are/ber seldom/rb achieved/vbn ./.
Instead/rb one/cd partner/nn or/cc the/at other/ap dominates/vbz the/at sexual/jj relationship/nn ./.
In/in the/at past/nn ,/, it/pps has/hvz been/ben the/at husband/nn who/wps has/hvz been/ben dominant/jj and/cc the/at wife/nn passive/jj ./.
But/cc today/nr there/ex are/ber signs/nns that/cs these/dts roles/nns are/ber being/beg reversed/vbn ./.


	In/in a/at growing/vbg number/nn of/in American/jj homes/nns ,/, marriage/nn counselors/nns report/vb ,/, the/at wife/nn is/bez taking/vbg a/at commanding/vbg role/nn in/in sexual/jj relationships/nns ./.
It/pps is/bez she/pps who/wps decides/vbz the/at time/nn ,/, the/at place/nn ,/, the/at surroundings/nns ,/, and/cc the/at frequency/nn of/in the/at sexual/jj act/nn ./.
It/pps is/bez she/pps who/wps says/vbz aye/rb or/cc nay/rb to/in the/at intimate/jj questions/nns of/in sexual/jj technique/nn and/cc mechanics/nns --/-- not/* the/at husband/nn ./.
The/at whole/jj act/nn is/bez tailored/vbn to/in her/pp$ pleasure/nn ,/, and/cc not/* to/in theirs/pp$$ ./.


	Beyond/in a/at certain/jj point/nn ,/, of/in course/nn ,/, no/at woman/nn can/md be/be dominant/jj --/-- nature/nn has/hvz seen/vbn to/in that/dt ./.
But/cc there/ex is/bez little/ap doubt/nn that/cs in/in many/ap marriages/nns the/at wife/nn is/bez boss/nn of/in the/at marital/jj bed/nn ./.


	Of/in course/nn ,/, there/ex remain/vb many/ap ``/`` old-fashioned/jj ''/'' marriages/nns in/in which/wdt the/at husband/nn maintains/vbz his/pp$ supremacy/nn ./.
Yet/cc even/rb in/in these/dts marriages/nns ,/, psychologists/nns say/vb ,/, wives/nns are/ber asserting/vbg themselves/ppls more/ql strongly/rb ./.
The/at meekest/jjt ,/, most/ql submissive/jj wife/nn of/in today/nr is/bez a/at tiger/nn by/in her/pp$ mother's/nn$ or/cc grandmother's/nn$ standards/nns ./.


	To/in many/ap experts/nns ,/, this/dt trend/nn was/bedz inevitable/jj ./.
They/ppss consider/vb it/ppo simply/rb a/at sign/nn of/in our/pp$ times/nns ./.
Our/pp$ society/nn has/hvz ``/`` emancipated/vbn ''/'' the/at woman/nn ,/, giving/vbg her/ppo new/jj independence/nn and/cc new/jj authority/nn ./.
It/pps is/bez only/rb natural/jj that/cs she/pps assert/vb herself/ppl in/in the/at sexual/jj role/nn ./.


	``/`` The/at sexual/jj relationship/nn does/doz not/* exist/vb in/in a/at vacuum/nn ''/'' ,/, declares/vbz Dr./nn-tl Mary/np Steichen/np Calderone/np ,/, medical/jj director/nn of/in the/at Planned/vbn-tl Parenthood/nn-tl Federation/nn-tl of/in-tl America/np and/cc author/nn of/in the/at recent/jj book/nn ,/, Release/nn-tl From/in-tl Sexual/jj-tl Tensions/nns-tl ./.
``/`` It/pps reflects/vbz what/wdt is/bez going/vbg on/rp in/in other/ap areas/nns of/in the/at marriage/nn and/cc in/in society/nn itself/ppl ./.
A/at world/nn in/in which/wdt wives/nns have/hv taken/vbn a/at more/ql active/jj role/nn is/bez likely/jj to/to produce/vb sexual/jj relationships/nns in/in which/wdt wives/nns are/ber more/ql self-assertive/jj ,/, too/rb ''/'' ./.


	Yet/cc many/ap psychologists/nns and/cc marriage/nn counselors/nns agree/vb that/cs domination/nn of/in the/at sex/nn relationship/nn by/in one/cd partner/nn or/cc the/at other/ap can/md be/be unhealthy/jj and/cc even/rb dangerous/jj ./.
It/pps can/md ,/, in/in fact/nn ,/, wreck/vb a/at marriage/nn ./.


	When/wrb a/at husband/nn is/bez sexually/rb selfish/jj and/cc heedless/jj of/in his/pp$ wife's/nn$ desires/nns ,/, she/pps is/bez cheated/vbn of/in the/at fulfillment/nn and/cc pleasure/nn nature/nn intended/vbd for/in her/ppo ./.
And/cc she/pps begins/vbz to/to regard/vb him/ppo as/cs savage/jj ,/, bestial/jj and/cc unworthy/jj ./.


	On/in the/at other/ap hand/nn ,/, wifely/jj supremacy/nn demeans/vbz the/at husband/nn ,/, saps/vbz his/pp$ self-respect/nn ,/, and/cc robs/vbz him/ppo of/in his/pp$ masculinity/nn ./.
He/pps is/bez a/at target/nn of/in ridicule/nn to/in his/pp$ wife/nn ,/, and/cc often/rb --/-- since/cs private/jj affairs/nns rarely/rb remain/vb private/jj --/-- to/in the/at outside/jj world/nn as/ql well/rb ./.


	``/`` A/at marriage/nn can/md survive/vb almost/rb any/dti kind/nn of/in stress/nn except/in an/at open/jj and/cc direct/jj challenge/nn to/in the/at husband's/nn$ maleness/nn ''/'' ,/, declares/vbz Dr./nn-tl Calderone/np ./.
This/dt opinion/nn is/bez supported/vbn by/in one/cd of/in the/at nation's/nn$ leading/vbg psychiatrists/nns ,/, Dr./nn-tl Maurice/np E./np Linden/np ,/, director/nn of/in the/at Mental/jj-tl Health/nn-tl Division/nn-tl of/in the/at Philadelphia/np-tl Department/nn-tl of/in-tl Public/jj-tl Health/nn-tl ./.


	``/`` When/wrb the/at roles/nns of/in husband/nn and/cc wife/nn are/ber reversed/vbn ,/, so/cs that/cs the/at wife/nn becomes/vbz leader/nn and/cc the/at husband/nn follower/nn ''/'' ,/, Dr./nn-tl Linden/np says/vbz ,/, ``/`` the/at effects/nns on/in their/pp$ whole/jj relationship/nn ,/, sexual/jj and/cc otherwise/rb ,/, can/md be/be disastrous/jj ''/'' ./.




In/in one/cd extreme/jj case/nn ,/, cited/vbn by/in a/at Pittsburgh/np psychologist/nn ,/, an/at office/nn worker's/nn$ wife/nn refused/vbd to/to have/hv sexual/jj relations/nns with/in her/pp$ husband/nn unless/cs he/pps bought/vbd her/ppo the/at luxuries/nns she/pps demanded/vbd ./.
To/to win/vb her/pp$ favors/nns ,/, her/pp$ husband/nn first/rb took/vbd an/at additional/jj job/nn ,/, then/rb desperately/rb began/vbd to/to embezzle/vb from/in his/pp$ employer/nn ./.
Caught/vbn at/in last/rb ,/, he/pps was/bedz sentenced/vbn to/in prison/nn ./.
While/cs he/pps was/bedz in/in custody/nn his/pp$ wife/nn divorced/vbd him/ppo ./.


	More/ql typical/jj is/bez the/at case/nn of/in a/at suburban/jj Long/jj-tl Island/nn-tl housewife/nn described/vbn by/in a/at marriage/nn counselor/nn ./.
This/dt woman/nn repeatedly/rb complained/vbd she/pps was/bedz ``/`` too/ql tired/jj ''/'' for/in marital/jj relations/nns ./.
To/to please/vb her/ppo ,/, her/pp$ husband/nn assumed/vbd some/dti of/in the/at domestic/jj chores/nns ./.
Finally/rb ,/, he/pps was/bedz cooking/vbg ,/, washing/vbg dishes/nns ,/, bathing/vbg the/at children/nns ,/, and/cc even/rb ironing/vbg --/-- and/cc still/rb his/pp$ wife/nn refused/vbd to/to have/hv relations/nns as/ql often/rb as/cs he/pps desired/vbd them/ppo ./.


	One/cd wife/nn ,/, described/vbn by/in a/at New/jj-tl York/np-tl psychologist/nn ,/, so/ql dominated/vbd her/pp$ husband/nn that/cs she/pps actually/rb placed/vbd their/pp$ sexual/jj relationship/nn on/in a/at schedule/nn ,/, writing/vbg it/ppo down/rp right/ql between/in the/at weekly/jj PTA/nn meetings/nns and/cc the/at Thursday-night/jj neighborhood/nn card/nn parties/nns ./.
Another/dt put/vbd sex/nn on/in a/at dollars-and-cents/nns basis/nn ./.
After/in every/at money/nn argument/nn ,/, she/pps rebuffed/vbd her/pp$ husband's/nn$ overtures/nns until/cs the/at matter/nn was/bedz settled/vbn in/in her/pp$ favor/nn ./.


	Experts/nns say/vb the/at partners/nns in/in marriages/nns like/cs these/dts can/md almost/rb be/be typed/vbn ./.


	The/at wife/nn is/bez likely/jj to/to be/be young/jj ,/, sophisticated/jj ,/, smart/jj as/cs a/at whip/nn --/-- often/rb a/at girl/nn who/wps has/hvz sacrificed/vbn a/at promising/jj career/nn for/in marriage/nn ./.
She/pps knows/vbz the/at power/nn of/in the/at sex/nn urge/nn and/cc how/wrb to/to use/vb it/ppo to/to manipulate/vb her/pp$ husband/nn ./.


	The/at husband/nn is/bez usually/rb a/at well-educated/jj professional/nn ,/, preoccupied/vbn with/in his/pp$ job/nn --/-- often/rb an/at organization/nn man/nn whose/wp$ motto/nn for/in getting/vbg ahead/rb is/bez :/: ``/`` Don't/do* rock/vb the/at boat/nn ''/'' ./.


	Sometimes/rb this/dt leads/vbz to/in his/pp$ becoming/nn demandingly/rb dominant/jj in/in marriage/nn ./.
Hemmed/vbn in/rp on/in the/at job/nn and/cc unable/jj to/to assert/vb himself/ppl ,/, he/pps uses/vbz the/at sex/nn act/nn so/cs he/pps can/md be/be supreme/jj in/in at/in least/ap one/cd area/nn ./.


	More/ql often/rb ,/, though/rb ,/, he/pps is/bez so/ql accustomed/vbn to/in submitting/vbg to/in authority/nn on/in the/at job/nn without/in argument/nn that/cs he/pps lives/vbz by/in the/at same/ap rule/nn at/in home/nn ./.


	Some/dti psychologists/nns ,/, in/in fact/nn ,/, suggest/vb that/cs career-bound/jj husbands/nns often/rb are/ber more/rbr to/to blame/vb for/in topsy-turvy/jj marriages/nns than/cs their/pp$ wives/nns ./.
The/at wife's/nn$ attempt/nn at/in control/nn ,/, these/dts psychologists/nns contend/vb ,/, is/bez sometimes/rb merely/rb a/at pathetic/jj effort/nn to/to compel/vb her/pp$ husband/nn to/to pay/vb as/ql much/ap attention/nn to/in her/ppo as/cs he/pps does/doz to/in his/pp$ job/nn ./.


	Naturally/rb no/at woman/nn can/md ever/rb completely/rb monopolize/vb the/at sexual/jj initiative/nn ./.
Unless/cs her/pp$ husband/nn also/rb desires/vbz sex/nn ,/, the/at act/nn cannot/md* be/be consummated/vbn ./.
Generally/rb ,/, however/rb ,/, in/in such/jj marriages/nns as/cs those/dts cited/vbn ,/, the/at husband/nn is/bez at/in his/pp$ wife's/nn$ mercy/nn ./.


	``/`` The/at pattern/nn ''/'' ,/, says/vbz Dr./nn-tl Morton/np Schillinger/np ,/, psychologist/nn at/in New/jj-tl York's/np$-tl Lincoln/np-tl Institute/nn-tl for/in-tl Psychotherapy/nn-tl ,/, ``/`` is/bez for/in the/at husband/nn to/to hover/vb about/rb anxiously/rb and/cc eagerly/rb ,/, virtually/rb trembling/vbg in/in his/pp$ hope/nn that/cs she/pps will/md flash/vb him/ppo the/at signal/nn that/cs tonight/nr is/bez the/at night/nn ''/'' ./.


	No/at one/pn seriously/rb contends/vbz ,/, of/in course/nn ,/, that/cs the/at domineering/vbg wife/nn is/bez ,/, sexually/rb speaking/vbg ,/, a/at new/jj character/nn in/in our/pp$ world/nn ./.
After/in all/abn ,/, the/at henpecked/vbn husband/nn with/in his/pp$ shrewish/jj wife/nn is/bez a/at comic/jj figure/nn of/in long/jj standing/nn ,/, in/in literature/nn and/cc on/in the/at stage/nn ,/, as/cs Dr./nn-tl Schillinger/np points/vbz out/rp ./.
There/ex is/bez no/at evidence/nn that/cs these/dts Milquetoasts/nns-tl became/vbd suddenly/rb emboldened/vbn when/wrb they/ppss crossed/vbd the/at threshhold/nn of/in the/at master/jjs bedroom/nn ./.




Furthermore/rb ,/, Dr./nn-tl Calderone/np says/vbz ,/, a/at certain/jj number/nn of/in docile/jj ,/, retiring/vbg men/nns always/rb have/hv been/ben around/rb ./.
They/ppss aren't/ber* ``/`` frigid/jj ''/'' and/cc they/ppss aren't/ber* homosexual/jj ;/. ;/.
they're/ppss+ber just/rb restrained/vbn in/in all/abn of/in life/nn ./.
They/ppss like/vb to/to be/be dominated/vbn ./.
One/cd such/jj man/nn once/rb confided/vbd to/in Dr./nn-tl Theodor/np Reik/np ,/, New/jj-tl York/np-tl psychiatrist/nn ,/, that/cs he/pps preferred/vbd to/to have/hv his/pp$ wife/nn the/at sexual/jj aggressor/nn ./.
Asked/vbn why/wrb ,/, he/pps replied/vbd primly/rb :/: ``/`` Because/cs that's/dt+bez no/at activity/nn for/in a/at gentleman/nn ''/'' ./.


	But/cc such/jj cases/nns were/bed ,/, in/in the/at past/nn ,/, unusual/jj ./.
Society/nn here/rb and/cc abroad/rb has/hvz been/ben built/vbn around/in the/at dominating/vbg male/nn --/-- even/rb the/at Bible/np appears/vbz to/to endorse/vb the/at concept/nn ./.


	Family/nn survival/nn on/in our/pp$ own/jj Western/jj-tl frontier/nn ,/, for/in example/nn ,/, could/md quite/ql literally/rb depend/vb on/in a/at man's/nn$ strength/nn and/cc ability/nn to/to bring/vb home/nr the/at bacon/nn ;/. ;/.
and/cc the/at dependent/jj wife/nn seldom/rb questioned/vbd his/pp$ judgment/nn about/in anything/pn ,/, including/in the/at marriage/nn bed/nn ./.


	This/dt carried/vbd over/rp into/in the/at more/ql urbanized/vbn late/jj 19th/od and/cc early/jj 20th/od centuries/nns ,/, when/wrb the/at man/nn ruled/vbd the/at roost/nn in/in the/at best/jjt bull-roaring/jj Life/nn-tl With/in-tl Father/nn-tl manner/nn ./.


	In/in those/dts days/nns ,/, a/at wife/nn had/hvd mighty/ql few/ap rights/nns in/in the/at domestic/jj sphere/nn and/cc even/ql fewer/ap in/in the/at sexual/jj sphere/nn ./.
``/`` Grandma/nn wasn't/bedz* expected/vbn to/to like/vb it/ppo ''/'' ,/, Dr./nn-tl Marion/np Hilliard/np ,/, the/at late/jj Toronto/np gynecologist/nn ,/, once/rb summed/vbd up/rp the/at attitude/nn of/in the/at '90s/nns ./.
Wives/nns of/in the/at period/nn shamefacedly/rb thought/vbd of/in themselves/ppls as/cs ``/`` used/vbn ''/'' by/in their/pp$ husbands/nns --/-- and/cc ,/, history/nn indicates/vbz ,/, they/ppss often/rb quite/ql literally/rb were/bed ./.


	When/wrb was/bedz the/at turning/vbg point/nn ?/. ?/.
When/wrb did/dod women/nns begin/vb to/to assert/vb themselves/ppls sexually/rb ?/. ?/.




Some/dti date/vb it/ppo from/in woman/nn suffrage/nn ,/, others/nns from/in when/wrb women/nns first/rb began/vbd to/to challenge/vb men/nns in/in the/at marketplace/nn ,/, still/rb others/nns from/in the/at era/nn of/in the/at emancipated/vbn flapper/nn and/cc bathtub/nn gin/nn ./.
Virtually/rb everyone/pn agrees/vbz ,/, however/rb ,/, that/cs the/at trend/nn toward/in female/jj sexual/jj aggressiveness/nn was/bedz tremendously/rb accelerated/vbn with/in the/at postwar/jj rush/nn to/in the/at suburbs/nns ./.


	Left/vbn alone/rb while/cs her/pp$ husband/nn was/bedz miles/nns away/rb in/in the/at city/nn ,/, the/at modern/jj wife/nn assumed/vbd more/ap and/cc more/ap duties/nns normally/rb reserved/vbn for/in the/at male/nn ./.
Circumstances/nns gave/vbd her/ppo almost/rb undisputed/jj sway/nn over/in child-rearing/nn ,/, money-handling/nn and/cc home/nn maintenance/nn ./.
She/pps found/vbd she/pps could/md cope/vb with/in all/abn kinds/nns of/in problems/nns for/in which/wdt she/pps was/bedz once/rb considered/vbn too/ql helpless/jj ./.
She/pps liked/vbd this/dt taste/nn of/in authority/nn and/cc independence/nn ,/, and/cc ,/, with/in darkness/nn ,/, was/bedz not/* likely/jj to/to give/vb it/ppo up/rp ./.


	``/`` Very/ql few/ap wives/nns ''/'' ,/, says/vbz Dr./nn-tl Calderone/np ,/, ``/`` who/wps balance/vb the/at checkbook/nn ,/, fix/vb the/at car/nn ,/, choose/vb where/wrb the/at family/nn will/md live/vb and/cc deal/vb with/in the/at tradesmen/nns ,/, are/ber suddenly/rb going/vbg to/to become/vb submissive/jj where/wrb sex/nn is/bez concerned/vbn ./.
A/at woman/nn who/wps dominates/vbz other/ap family/nn affairs/nns will/md dominate/vb the/at sexual/jj relationship/nn as/ql well/rb ''/'' ./.


	And/cc an/at additional/jj factor/nn was/bedz helping/vbg to/to make/vb women/nns more/ap sexually/rb self-assertive/jj --/-- the/at comparatively/ql recent/jj discovery/nn of/in the/at true/jj depths/nns of/in female/jj desire/nn and/cc response/nn ./.
Marriage/nn manuals/nns and/cc women's/nns$ magazine/nn articles/nns began/vbd to/to stress/vb the/at importance/nn of/in the/at female/jj climax/nn ./.
They/ppss began/vbd to/to describe/vb in/in detail/nn the/at woman's/nn$ capacity/nn for/in response/nn ./.


	In/in fact/nn ,/, the/at noted/vbn psychologist/nn and/cc sex/nn researcher/nn ,/, Dr./nn-tl Albert/np Ellis/np ,/, has/hvz declared/vbn flatly/rb that/cs women/nns are/ber ``/`` sexually/rb superior/jj ''/'' to/in men/nns ./.
According/in to/in Dr./nn-tl Ellis/np ,/, the/at average/jj 20-year-old/jj American/jj woman/nn is/bez capable/jj of/in far/ql greater/jjr sexual/jj arousal/nn than/cs her/pp$ partner/nn ./.
Not/* surprisingly/rb ,/, Dr./nn-tl Ellis/np says/vbz ,/, some/dti recently/rb enlightened/vbn wives/nns are/ber out/rp to/to claim/vb these/dts capabilities/nns ./.


	Yet/rb ,/, paradoxically/rb ,/, according/in to/in Dr./nn-tl Maurice/np Linden/np ,/, many/ap wives/nns despise/vb their/pp$ husbands/nns for/in not/* standing/vbg up/rp to/in them/ppo ./.
An/at aggressive/jj woman/nn wants/vbz a/at man/nn to/to demand/vb ,/, not/* knuckle/vb under/rb ./.
``/`` When/wrb the/at husband/nn becomes/vbz passive/jj in/in the/at face/nn of/in his/pp$ wife's/nn$ aggressiveness/nn ''/'' ,/, Dr./nn-tl Linden/np says/vbz ,/, ``/`` the/at wife/nn ,/, in/in turn/nn ,/, finds/vbz him/ppo inadequate/jj ./.
Often/rb she/pps fails/vbz to/to gain/vb sexual/jj satisfaction/nn ''/'' ./.


	One/cd such/jj wife/nn ,/, Dr./nn-tl Linden/np says/vbz ,/, became/vbd disgusted/vbn with/in her/pp$ weak/jj husband/nn and/cc flurried/vbd through/in a/at series/nn of/in extramarital/jj affairs/nns in/in the/at hope/nn of/in finding/vbg a/at stronger/jjr man/nn ./.
But/cc her/pp$ personality/nn was/bedz such/jj that/cs each/dt affair/nn lasted/vbd only/rb until/cs that/dt lover/nn ,/, too/rb ,/, had/hvd been/ben conquered/vbn and/cc reduced/vbn to/in passivity/nn ./.
Then/rb the/at wife/nn bed-hopped/vbd to/in the/at next/ap on/in the/at list/nn ./.


	In/in some/dti cases/nns ,/, however/rb ,/, domination/nn of/in the/at sex/nn act/nn by/in one/cd partner/nn can/md be/be temporary/jj ,/, triggered/vbn by/in a/at passing/vbg but/cc urgent/jj emotional/jj need/nn ./.
Thus/rb a/at man/nn who/wps is/bez butting/vbg a/at stone/nn wall/nn at/in the/at office/nn may/md become/vb unusually/ql aggressive/jj in/in bed/nn --/-- the/at one/cd place/nn he/pps can/md still/rb be/be champion/nn ./.
If/cs his/pp$ on-the-job/jj problems/nns work/vb out/rp ,/, he/pps may/md return/vb to/in his/pp$ old/jj pattern/nn ./.
Sometimes/rb a/at burst/nn of/in aggressiveness/nn will/md sweep/vb over/in a/at man/nn --/-- or/cc his/pp$ wife/nn --/-- because/cs he/pps or/cc she/pps feels/vbz age/nn creeping/vbg up/rp ./.


	On/in the/at other/ap hand/nn ,/, a/at husband/nn who/wps always/rb has/hvz been/ben vigorous/jj and/cc assertive/jj may/md suddenly/rb become/vb passive/jj --/-- asking/vbg ,/, psychologists/nns say/vb ,/, for/in reassurance/nn that/cs his/pp$ wife/nn still/rb finds/vbz him/ppo desirable/jj ./.
Or/cc a/at wife/nn may/md make/vb sudden/jj demands/nns that/cs she/pps be/be courted/vbn ,/, flattered/vbn or/cc coaxed/vbn ,/, simply/rb because/cs she/pps needs/vbz her/pp$ ego/nn lifted/vbn ./.


	In/in any/dti case/nn ,/, Dr./nn-tl Calderone/np remarks/vbz ,/, such/jj problems/nns are/ber a/at couple's/nn$ own/jj affair/nn ,/, and/cc can't/md* always/rb be/be measured/vbn by/in a/at general/jj yardstick/nn ./.
``/`` As/ql long/rb as/cs the/at couple/nn is/bez in/in agreement/nn in/in their/pp$ approach/nn to/in sex/nn ,/, it/pps makes/vbz little/ap difference/nn if/cs one/cd or/cc the/at other/ap dominates/vbz ''/'' ,/, Dr./nn-tl Calderone/np declares/vbz ./.
``/`` The/at important/jj point/nn is/bez that/cs both/abx be/be satisfied/vbn with/in the/at adjustment/nn ''/'' ./.


	Other/ap experts/nns say/vb ,/, however/rb ,/, that/cs if/cs sexual/jj domination/nn by/in one/cd or/cc the/at other/ap partner/nn exists/vbz for/in longer/rbr than/in a/at brief/jj period/nn ,/, it/pps is/bez likely/jj to/to shake/vb the/at marriage/nn ./.
And/cc just/rb as/cs domination/nn today/nr often/rb begins/vbz with/in the/at wife/nn ,/, so/rb the/at cure/nn generally/rb must/md lie/vb with/in the/at husband/nn ./.


	``/`` To/to get/vb a/at marriage/nn back/rb where/wrb it/pps belongs/vbz ''/'' ,/, comments/vbz Dr./nn-tl Schillinger/np of/in the/at Lincoln/np-tl Institute/nn-tl ,/, ``/`` the/at husband/nn must/md take/vb some/dti very/ql basic/jj steps/nns ./.
He/pps must/md begin/vb ,/, paradoxically/rb ,/, by/in becoming/vbg more/ql selfish/jj ./.
He/pps must/md become/vb more/ql expressive/jj of/in his/pp$ own/jj desires/nns ,/, more/ql demanding/jj and/cc less/ql '/' understanding/jj '/' ''/'' ./.


	Too/ql many/ap husbands/nns ,/, Dr./nn-tl Schillinger/np continues/vbz ,/, worry/vb about/in ``/`` how/wql well/rb they're/ppss+ber doing/vbg ''/'' ,/, and/cc fear/vb that/cs their/pp$ success/nn depends/vbz on/in some/dti trick/nn or/cc technique/nn of/in sexual/jj play/nn ./.

